My boyfriend was with me yesterday while I trying to buy a new pair of shoes. Everything I showed him, he nodded his head. I showed him two different brown shoes, he thought it was the same shoe.
*sigh*

I went to get my annual checkup and the gyno says everything is excellent. To tell you how thorough a doc she is, she wrote down my boyfriend's name into my file! Dr Phelps is the best yes.

So here I am now watching my boyfriend sleep. I hungry.
:(

Yesterday we limed late in school.

The Form One team lost 4-1 to Mt Hope. Those golals were some silly goals really...*sigh*

We stayed back, just a few of us and had some drinks and limed.
The day before after school, a boy got beaten up by three girls...long story.
I was there when it happened, so I was reenacting the event, and two of my friends came up with a dance yes!!!
Hilarious!

The boy got 4 days suspension, the girls two..I think that's unfair, but wha yuh go do???

Last day of the week!! YAY!!!!

"I miss who he never was,

and I miss who he could have been,

but I dont miss him."

Prue Halliwell

Charmed

When she said that tonight, I was like, wow this is exactly how I feel. I'm glad my brother is moving on. He's looking to get his licence soon. I hope he gets through. He's not sitting and moping, he's moving forward.

Every once in a while, it hits me that my father is dead. I dream about him sometimes, but he's always in the background, never talking, but he's always sick.

There is a part of me that held my tongue when I went to the hospital, but now there is a part of me that asked some hardhitting questions.

bleh..why I just didnt watch snacks on Gayelle???

This morning I went to do my errands.

I went to file my taxes, I cashed a cheque at the Treasury, I deposited this money in my UTC acct, I went to pay my cable bill, I went to pay my phone and internet bill, then I went to Licensing Office to get a form. All this was done between 8 and 9am. All those places were empty!

I went to the Justice of the Peace, that was a ten mins, then I was on my way to school. I reached back just in time to give out the box lunch. :s

I went to my afternoon classes. Now this class is loud and lazy, but what I realized is when you give the info bit by bit, they learn it better than shoving a lot down their throat. I wish I could do that with all my classes, but time does not afford it.

Yesterday I went taebo. It was great. But this morning I felt and now continue to feel the pain.
They do say, "Beauty is pain."

http://http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/Departments/CareerTraining/?article=teacherpaymain

I think a lot of the "overpaid teachers" talk comes from the notion that teachers' hours match up with students' hours: Put in six hours a day, head home around 2 PM, and take summers off. Compared to most jobs, that's scarcely working, right?

Hello--news flash! Classroom time is only the tip of the pencil for a teacher. No one just walks into a roomful of kids without a plan and keeps them fruitfully occupied for six hours at a stretch, day after day. Lesson plans have to be drawn up. There go your weekends.
Then there's homework. If you have 25 kids in your class, and each one turns in one page of homework a day, you have 25 pages to read and mark before tomorrow. There go your evenings.

Furthermore, you have meetings to attend--with other teachers, curriculum experts, administrators, and parents. Plus, when kids bring their life problems into the classroom--and they're human, so they do--who ends up dealing with them? That's right, the teacher. It's not in the job description, but a teacher's obligations inevitably overlap with those of social workers, therapists, and even parents.

Which brings us to our third criterion. How valuable is the contribution teachers make to humanity?



Never mind Mr. Holland's Opus. Forget individual cases. Let's consider the teaching profession as a whole. If doctors save lives, what do teachers do?

Well, let's see. Everything we call civilization has to be passed on to the next generation. Isn't that what teachers do? Reading, writing, adding 26 plus 13, calculating the boiling point of water and naming the vitamins found in carrots, explaining the difference between Turkey and turkey--none of this stuff is in the genes.

Without teachers, civilization would have to be developed from scratch every generation, and man, you can't get too far in one generation. We'd still be listening to eight-track tapes. We wouldn't even have cars! Well, I guess we'd have our parents' cars, but we wouldn't know how to drive them!

So yeah, I guess teaching is important work. On a scale from one to ten, let's give it a nine. (Saving lives has still got to rank higher.)

Interesting article!

I am not a big fan of Diane Keaton movies, but "Something's gotta give" is not a bad movie.

She said something that has been a philosophy of mine for a while. She said that you cant stop yourself from loving someone just because you think you will get hurt or that it wont work out; Love anyway.

I believe that so much. So what if it doesnt work out? That's part of life isnt it? When I tell my friends that, they say, "You have a man arready."

But I believed that before I met him.
When I realised I was falling for him, my mind was trying to come up with a lot of different reasons NOT to, but the feelings were too overwhelming to deny. I'm glad I followed my heart instead of my mind. Things have worked out great.

We dont send forwards, we forward links to articles that we think might interest each other.
Now I dont just flick past channel 25 anymore, I might stop and take a lil peek.

Now if only I can get him interested in Spanish.....

My cupboard is being installed by my uncle.
YAY!!
I'll have more room for my clothes. New stocks coming een for Christmas.

A student was very rude to me yesterday. He accused me of picking on him. It came out of the blue and I was very mad because I do no such thing. If there is a student who has a problem with me, I dont tell him a word, just so that no-one can say that I am picking on him.

So I really came down hard on him, only to be told later that his dad died recently. WOW, did I feel like a heel. I am going to apologise. He doesnt know how to control his emotions, so things like that must happen.

A boy earlier this week said that I gave him a low mark because I dont like him. STEUPS
Well he get REAL boff!!!! His project was untidy and presentation was being marked. On all the projects I put the reason why marks were deducted.

I analyse every day that I am in work and I always try to see if I did something wrong and if I would need to rectify it OR if I did something right and I need to try it again. I boff yes, but after that I speak to them or let them answer a question or something to show that I am not holding it against them. Children like that are dangerous. If he went home and told his mother that, my name would have been besmirched.

*sigh*

WARNING: LONG POST

Richjob did an analysis of his handwriting and I decided to do mine. I dont think everything was accurate, so I am going to present the things I think relate to me.

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Ayanna has left lots of white space on the left side of the paper. Ayanna fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Ayanna has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Ayanna is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Ayanna would like to leave the past behind and move on.

Ayanna is selective when picking friends. She does not trust everyone. She has a select group of people that are truly close to her, usually two or three. She is careful when choosing her inner circle of friends.


Ayanna is sensitive to criticism about her ideas and philosophies. She will sometimes worry what people will think if she tells them what she believes in. This doesn't mean she won't talk, or that she feels ashamed. It merely means she is sensitive to what others think, regarding her beliefs.

Ayanna is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes. Ayanna will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Ayanna an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other. When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Ayanna is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story. Ayanna is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

Last night I came home and cooked: baked beans, rice and baked chicken. Not a bad meal.

The Senior team won their game 2-0, but one of our players got an elbow in his eye.
Tomorrow is Friday! YAY!!

Mih boy Fidel fall down and injured his hip yes! Poor ting.

I got up late this morning. I was up doing work. But I got to school on time.

I had my fav form five class and I got very annoyed. The slackness has begun with them.
There is a boy in that class that smells very bad, and even though he has been informed about it, he still hasnt done anything. The class said that they will help him by deodarant. He refused, saying that he has his own stuff. Now I dont want to walk among the students, so I tell them come to the desk, but with him...I have to find a different strategy.

The rest of my classes went well today.

We had a double header today. Form ones and under 16 at El Dorado brown.
The form ones are a nice bunch. They arent accustomed to me as yet. They thought I was a coach yes. LOL
Anyway, they tied 3-3 and the U16 lost 4-0. That is the first time we didnt score anything although we had many chances.

I am missing a lot of Fridays with my boyfriend because of football. When this season is over, I have to make it up to him.

My boyfriend and I had a falling out due to misinterpretation.

He meant it in the nicest way but I took it out of context and got upset. The awkward silences are heartbreaking...as well as expensive. You can hear the bill running up when you are just there saying nothing.

*sigh*

We got everything worked out now and things are good again. I look back now and wonder why I got upset in the first place.
He is so sweet eh, and so understanding.
Shame on me :(

Marks are due, so tensions are high.

I saw an argument take place this afternoon that was not nice at all.

For some reason the form fives were quiet today. Maybe because a lot of them went on a field trip.
We had a meeting with the director and we heard some negative things about the school. And some of the things reported on are things that we cannot fix, like the rate at which the students learn. STEUPS

I am almost finished with putting in my marks. The deadline is tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Yesterday was a looong day.
I went to school and taught my first class, my form ones. Boy are they easily distracted.

I gave work to the form fours that I was going to miss, then it was off to TOCO.

We left school early, around 10, and we were making good time. A boy farted and the maxi driver slowed the maxi down to get some air refreshner. Then we heard BRANG! and the maxi started going backwards.

We got the maxi to a level spot. Luckily we stopped in front of a house with a lot of land. A caretaker gave us permission to go and get water, so we limed there for a while. Of course you had the never see come sees who picked the people's coconuts. STEUPS.

Another maxi came and we were on our way again. The plan was to carry food up and cook, so we did that on Salybia. Very lovely beach. The water was two shades of blue and there was a clear view of Tobago. Just lovely.. we ALL wanted to take a dip, but we couldnt. :(

We arrived for the game. The referee was a big cheat. He tried to cheat for his school (since he was a teacher there) and they still lost anyway. We beat dem 5-2. Heh!

The boys didnt eat the food when it was cooked, otherwise they would have been late for the game. They were REAL hungry. Hungry boys real sickening boy. Steups.

The maxi came about 5pm. I got back to schook about 7:15 and I got home at 7:57.
I bathed and slept.

I LOVE Desperate Housewives. But it is at the same time as Strong Medicine on Lifetime.
Yes I watch Lifetime!!

Where does VH1 get these 'commentators' for their programs? They are hilarious!!!!
They're the reason why I am up so late tonight.

I always look forward to the weekends. That is when I get to spend some quality time with my boyfriend. During the week is tough for us, me with my football games, him with school.

Yesterday was fun. I enjoyed myself. Simple lime, nice conversation, good food.If is two people who love our belly, is us! lol

As a complete aside, I am watching Rundown and the Rock is a very handsome man.

Today I am going by my aunt for food! YAY!!!!
My granny turned 80 on Thursday so we are having a lil get-together.

DAMN YOU BLOGGER!!!!!!

I posted about my long day yesterday and somehow it wasnt posted!!!!!

Basically I had a parents meeting and it went well. It's very shitty that the fathers are not doing their job AT ALL!
Why cant men just love their children? Just talk to them? STEUPS!!!!

Nelson Mandela/Inaugural Speech/1994

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves: Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve this world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking, so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were all born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Clark just admitted to Chloe that he doesnt have the same feelings that she has.

And after he broke her heart, what does he do?? Kiss her on the cheek!!! That's when the tears came.

Guys, when you break our hearts, just walk away, dont be nice and hug or kiss us. Walk away.


Poor Chloe.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

One year and one month!


YAY!

This morning around one my boyfriend and I had a most lively conversation.

Thanks for that baby. It really made my day!

:)

This morning I was going to school and a father ( I assume) and son came into the maxi. Normally when I am travelling with my niece, she is yapping with her parents. This boy was silent. ok enough.

When the maxi approached the boy's stop, his father let him out. The father did not say good bye to his son neither 'have a good day'. When I was going to secondary school, my mother ALWAYS told me Go with God. It put me in a right frame of mind for the day.

When the maxi drove off, I saw him look into the maxi for his father as it passed him. Yuh know how some parents look at their child leave the maxi till they cant see them? The father didnt even do that, just put him out the maxi and that was it.

This young man stayed in my mind for the whole day because I was like him once...looking for some sort of acknowledgement from my father, and constantly being disappointed. I said a lil prayer for him.

TWO football matches today yes.
First match was Under 14 vs El Do brown. We won 3-0.
Next match was Under 19 vs PIL (Pentecostal Institute of Learning). The game ended in a tie 2-2. But the bacchanal was after the match where one of our players was threatened, one of the PIL students called one of our teachers a jackass and their conduct was just PISS poor.

Some teachers think that our boys are bad, but honestly, after tonight, I think they are almost angelic.

Why scrubs why???

Scrubs is one of my favourite shows on TV.
What is the topic tonite?

The death of one of the character's father...I mean...COME ON!

steups....

I made saltfish today!

I must say for a first try, it really tasted delicious!

SO the next time I make it, it shall be consumed with provisions.

Yum yum!

Nothing like a good bath and some decent food to make a hard day end on a good note.

I am glad to go back out to school tomorrow. I planned all my lessons for the week, typed up worksheets and just ready and rearing to go.
Imagine that. I had a mini-holiday and now I am excited to get back to work.


JK Rowling going and kill somebody else in the next book yes!!!!!
She killing ME!!! That book better come out in 2006!!! I cant take this anymore!!!

Why didnt my mother insist that we go for our driver's licence when we were 17????

Jeezanages.

I failed the first time. I gone back a second time, and I lost the learner's...now I have to swear affidavit that I lost the thing. STEUPS!!!!!

My boyfriend could drive yes. Plus it have taxis.

I have always changed in some way or fashion for the men that I was previously involved with. Whether it was the music I listened to or the type of clothes I wore, I changed. Not that it did me any good eh...

But it is so refreshing and comforting to know that I have someone in my life who accepts me just the way that I am. EXACTLY how I am. I dont have to change one bit!

My boyfriend called me today and played the song in the next post for me. I love when he does that, and of course I cried. The words are just so.....sweet.

When I heard this part especially, the tears just streamed down:

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.


Look at this line:
You always have my unspoken passion

Isnt that a BOSS line???
You wouldnt hear that in those R&B songs those kids listen to these days.
My baby picked a classic.

hee hee.

Just The Way You Are-Billy Joel

The Stranger Released: 1977

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore

I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

We werent even born when this song came out....
hee hee....

I am blessed.. I truly am.

When I look around me and I see the people that I have in my life who have supported me throughout this time, I can only say a prayer of gratitude.

This time also has given me a renewed faith in God. I lift everything up to Him now.

To the people who read this blog, I hope all of you have some sort of life or health insurance. Please dont think you are young and you will get that sometime later on. Talk to an insurance agent about things that you can put in place for your future. I have, and I feel much better.

WOW!

These past few weeks have been tough on our relationship. I would say there was a little distance between the both of us.

But today is a new beginning. And it started off with some good alone time. I tell you, making love to the man you love has some healing qualities yes.

Yesterday I went to work.
It was Professional Day.
Boy was that boring!

Yesterday I just slept and slept and slept. I am NOT taking sleeping tablets again.


Today should be a good day.

Last night I took a sleeping tablet.
It did its job because I am still sleepy.

*YAWN*

Today was a long day conducting business. I arrived in POS at 8:30 and didnt leave until 12pm.
And I got caught in the rain..steups

I went to school to watch a football match. We won 7-0. I remember telling the team since last week that I want Bon Air to come home with a cutass, and they did!
It was a joy to watch.

Today was the funeral.
I was in good spirits all morning, but as time drew near, I grew nervous.

I was very grateful to see my friends there as well as my principal, so he made up for asking me to come to work on Friday. LOL

One good thing that came out of this is that I met my family on my father's side. They looked like such a good bunch. I wish that he had let us meet that side of the family earlier.
I really hope we can maintain ties with them.

*sigh*

Oblah-dee, Oblah-dah
Life goes on......oh
Lalalala..life goes on.

Words cannot express my gratitude to Kayode for his support during this ordeal. I was stressed out and I took it out on him.

He has been supportive and loving and I couldnt ask for anything more in a boyfriend.

Boyfriend.... such an understatement. Kayode is not just my boyfriend. Kayode is my family, he is such a HUGE part of my life now. I'm glad to have him by my side.
This weekend I hope to get things back on track.



I have MY life to live now.

Tomorrow is the funeral. After tomorrow, everything should be put to rest.

I am really glad that my friends are trying to come to the service. It's greatly appreciated.

Today I told my supervisor about taking my bereavement leave Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Imagine he told me that he wants me to come out for staff professional day on Friday. I said yes, as long as I got my day on Monday, which he agreed to.
While I think it's insensitive, I just glad to get a long weekend.

We won our football match today 3-1 against Tunapuna Sec. I organised a rhythm section FINALLY. It could have rivalled QRC's!!!
My form ones only asking me to come out to their match. I really hope I can get down in time.

It's weird telling people that my dad died. It's so ...weird.

I mean, while I never used to talk to him much, he was always around. Now he's not.

He died alone in a hospital bed. I wish he didnt have to die there. If it's one thing I would have wished for him is to die at home, with people he knew around him.

As I sit here now, tears come to my eyes, thinking about his life and how empty it must have been at times. Maybe alcohol filled that void.

Only when he drank alcohol was he able to have courage to say what was on his mind. He told us he loved us a few times, but he was drunk and he was slamming doors, so it didnt have the effect it should.

May he rest in peace-8th Aug 1952- 3rd October 2004

What did I do to get the boyfriend I have?

He is just amazing....


Yuh know, all week my throat was giving me trouble. But today, when I got the news, it stopped hurting.

God is a good God.

My father passed away this morning.

I was bracing myself for this phonecall and now it has come, around 815 am.

His suffering has ended, I am glad about that. I just feel very sorry for him. He is a human being after all.

I was upset, miserable, confused and things werent going so well for me last night and I took it all out on my boyfriend.

I am so sorry. He was just trying to make me feel better and instead I acted in an ungrateful manner :(

But only someone who is your true soulmate, who truly cares about your wellbeing, would stand by you despite all that.

Thank you so much baby.
Thanks for looking out for me.

I need a rest.
My friends are out liming tonite and I am here at home. I dont mind it though. I have food, cable, a bed..what more can I need?

We lost again 4-1. It wasnt a bad match, but it wasnt what was promised. A student asked me if they disappointed me. Actually I wasnt nah. They have a fighting spirit within them. They were communicating with each other on the field...nice stuff.

The hope is that with the cutass they getting now, they will be humble and work even harder, thereby getting results.

Let's keep our fingers crossed.