let me tell you about my day
I went into POS to pay my cable bill and while standing in the line, an old man came to stand behind me..RIGHT behind me. I moved up...he moved up..i moved forward..he moved forward. I had to move to the side for him not to up under my ass.

Anyway..I cut my hair!! I feel free, I feel lighter!!
My bf loves it..he REALLY loves it (wink)!!!I'm glad..but I just waiting for the comments of the students. I tell you..they look very closely at their teachers..just like we did ent?
but I kept my opinions to myself. They tell you what on's their mind.

my bf is too sweet. He just too adorable yes. he making meh laff all night long...as well as some other things..(wink wink)

Today is a new day and I am going to cut my hair. I always used to cut my hair every year. But the last time I cut it was 2000, so this hair on my head took a lil less than 4 years to grow. I feel for a change. i really do.
Then I am really going to start back tae bo on Monday. Get back that flat stomach and I good to go.

today was a good day yes. I am really content. I'm home...my baby has to work tonight, but i'm ok with that. we'll see each other tomorrow

:D

After talking to my bf on msn I really realised how much we call each other "baby".
Both of us have beautiful African names...we should use them more often......







hee hee..but he's my baby....

you know, sometimes I reflect on my life and I am surprised at where I am
I'm 25..well almost.

I have my first degree, working on what to study for my Master's.

Living on my own..not by choice but I love it anyway.

I have a great boyfriend. Sometimes I always look back at how we met and I look back on the fact that around november 2002, he was actually on my msn list, but he deleted me because he thought I was boring! :s

look at how things are now. hee hee

tonight my friend from work called me a lil distressed. He went to get something from a former fuck buddy of his and while he was there, she sat on his lap...sans underwear!
He told her that he has a gf and she replied that she knew...but she still want to brush anyway!!
hear nah, some women make me sick with that!! They know a man with he gyul but they still want to come round. Steups

a woman is a woman's own worst enemy..ah tell yuh dat!
There are few of them that I trust.

Today was a good day. I really had a nice day today.
One of my students told me this morning that my face looked bright.
hee hee

well, I officially miss my baby. you would think that spending the weekend with him would be enough but nah!!

well I make some form ones get a cut skin tonight..or at least they getting banned. Today was parents meetings and I told the parents everything I had to say. all who like to talk, who like to cheat..all kinda ting...

hope I see a change tomorrow

I am a big fan of wedding story on TLC. I watching some of these women and they doh shed a tear dread. I know if/when I get married and I am saying my vows, I will cry. I love my man so much eh that a few times, I just looked at him or he told me something so heartfelt that I did tear up. So imagine for my wedding day..hmmm

no mascara for that day...

hee hee

irony of ironies..I am a teacher who checks to see if my students do their homework and big me didnt do my hw for my class. I feel shame!!!

students only asking me if I will be teaching them spanish. Poor things.
They only looking in my class' window with a longing look in their eye.
The boys seem to be getting the idea about streaming and are realizing how much work needs to be done. I'm glad.
it seems to be working on one end.
let's see about the others now.

well today I found out that the school is streaming the form threes and I am the form teacher for the top stream. Pressure!!
I feel good that the principal entrusted me with this but I feel like if they dont do well, it will fall on my shoulders. So I have to find strategies to make these children succeed as well as want to compete.

I spent the weekend with my bf. TOTALLY unplanned but it was good. I was going through something and he was there for me. He really was. He did everything he could to make me feel comfortable.
And as I was explaining to him, my love for him settled down greatly. I was madly in love. I still am, but it's deeper. It's truer.
I always ask myself why we have to go through so much and we have only been together for 4 mnths. But I think it will help us in the long run.

Contrary to popular belief, he is a sweetie pie and very good friend. And I love him.

so today the principal tell me that they plan to stream the forms threes in about 2 weeks time...
steups
always like to do last minute shit.
I want parents to kick up a fuss..I really do..this is shit.

I love going to my classes on an afternoon. Nuff kix.

we real laff today as one of our classmates admitted she uses a dildo. She said with such wisdom: when you have an itch, scratch it. hahahaha

anyway, we found out that one of our male classmates got a gf and she has demanded that he stop dropping his friend of three years who is also in the class, home after class. we didnt see him in class today so maybe she told him not to go to the class again.

can we spell INSECURE?

Today was a trying day. A student in my class has sex with a girl without a condom yesterday and ejaculates inside her. He came to school, worried. He confided in a co worker of mine and we went to buy the morning after pill for the girl who is just 14. She was crying, worried. I went to buy the pill and when I asked for it, you could SEE the judgemental look the guy had on his face. steups

Now I call these boys my sons eh..but today, I really felt like a parent. I sat down with him and we spoke about it and he told me I am one of the few teachers he trusted and he said thanks because this, to him, is a second chance.

This is the part of the job I actually like...dealing with the kids. I keep telling then that they are fortunate that there are teachers who are interested in their lives. In Bishops, steups..didnt give one shit...

I got 87% for counselling last semester! YAY!!! Psychology, however doesnt look so good from what my lecturer was saying :s

So the 12 y o old who was sending me the love poems spoke to me yesterday and I asked him if he was ok and he said not really. I asked him what's wrong and he asked me why I was asking. I was I was concerned and he laughed!!
He laughed at me!
I hope I didnt scar this boy for life. I see him at school and looks normal...hmmm

Birthday List
This for anybody reading this who feels to bless me with a gift for my 25th birthday:
a gift certificate for a pedicure and a manicure

any sort of inspirational book

CHEESECAKE!

John Mayer's latest CD

I realise today that I have no malice in my heart. people have done things to me that I didnt like and the thing is I dont hate them or anything. This was a week of getting vex with people. My feelings were hurt but I really dont hate and despise anybody.
I guess my heart is filled with so much love it doesnt have time to despise anybody.

I made a boy kneel down in class. It hurt me to do it, but at the time I really couldnt think of anything else to punish him for steupsing at me.
i told him to go to his seat after about 5 mins

why do I have to shout and embarass just to get them to listen to be quiet??

I think I have scarred a 12 y o boy. The boy who used to send me all the poems in my form 2 spanish class. He was one of my top students. Now I am asking him questions that I know he can answer and he's just..not answering. He cant remember or I dont know he says. This was one of my sure passes in that class. Now I dont know. I want to talk to him, but I dont know what to say.
I didnt mean to do that. But he was really irritating and as a teacher I didnt want to encourage anything.
*sigh*

last night was a real tough night. My baby tells me he loves me all the time and I love hearing it. But apparently that's not what men are supposed to do. They are to show their love through their actions. He does a lot of wonderful things that shows me that he loves me. LOTS. But he also tells me as well! He's so sweet and kixxy. He had me laffing today, a real good laff. And he looks so cute when he's smiling.
we are closer and stronger and I am glad he is in my life.

and he is already planning for my birthday.
hee hee

FUCK!!!
this is frustrating

well Miss St James won the Miss universe Pageant. I went to school with her and we did treat her poorly. We used to find she was real stiff nah so we used to call her "robotic"
*sigh*
Those were the days. I'm glad for her. I hope she does a good job representing T and T.

what is SO wrong with a man saying "I Love You" on a regular basis?
Honestly I dont think there is anything wrong with that. If a man feels a certain way about his woman and he wants to express it verbally, well I dont see that as a problem at all.
Some men are too macho for their own good yes.

today wasnt so bad.
I real boof up dem form ones yes
and I make a boy get a cut skin. He forged his mother's signature and she came in school in a rage. he mighta get it there yes. lol
I am a lil sore because he has to work..but made up for it BIG TIME!

I bent down to wash my hands then i looked up in the mirror and I found myself momentarily captivated by my face. I just found I looked beautiful. I dont know if it was the plait that was on the side or something, I dont know, but I was just pleased with how I looked.

I had the pleasure of taking a taxi that was playing religious music. It was dub with religious lyrics. I doh like gospelypso and gospel dub and gospel rap because the same music religious fanatics like to saythat this type of music negatively influences youths is the same kinna music they want to use to bring youths in the church. make up your minds!!
That music could never make me praise the Lord.

Anyway, I started off the day in a crabby mood and it ended badly. *sigh

To Madame: Yes girl I'm still giddy in love and I hope it doesnt end. It just seems that when I was single and salting, all my friends had boyfriends. And to be honest I never used to really dig a horrors. I used to listen to their stories. But now I am involved with someone, they have broken up and no one wants to listen to ME! And i still have to listen to their stories. *sigh*

PS can one ever get fed up of someone saying " I love you" to you?
hee hee

i wish I could take another day off but alas it's work tomorrow

Today AGAIN just proved that I am with my soulmate. He is just the best yes.
FCB is the worst damn bank!! They are so slow!!!
and I think this fella snuckle kappa from TS working there. hee hee. I was thinking of all the shit he used to write on TS LOL

My friend told me that only women want weddings. Is that true? Dont men want to celebrate that special day with a lil pomp and ceremony?
he real quarelling about the list and how long it is. My sister's wedding had 60 ppl and not all 60 came.
I wish him luck though..weddings can be stressful.

*sigh*
I real tired

I got an energy charge from church and I think I need to do that on a regular basis in order to maintain it.

I'm sorry baby

How do you know what effect your words will have on someone? In your own mind, it's relatively harmless, but when u say it to someone, it just changes everything.


He didnt end the conversation by telling me he loved me. :(
I know he loves me but he always tells me when we end a conversation.
I feel incomplete and unsettled
I cant sleep well.
:(

I think a certain someone's constipation has rubbed off on me. hmmmph.

Today was a good day yes. No real complaints to talk about.

I am so glad I did GCE A Levels yes. I am reading the CAPE syllabus for Spanish. It is a very watery porgram. No real substance. Plus they have SBAs. Could you have imagined doing SBAs in Sixth Form??

yesterday I spent some time with my niece. It made my heart light up to see her smile. Her mother was giving her milk in a sippy cup and she was shouting "bukkel! bukkel Bukkel!" at her mother. Mih girl didnt want to drink in the cup yes and real buffing her mother. lol
I love my niece's eyes. They are so bright. I dont ever want to see them sad, not like how mine used to be.

And for a brief moment I had a desire to be holding my baby.....

But that feeling didnt last too long though.

Last night I watched "Lolita". It was a story of a 40 something yo man who fell in love with a 12 y o. It was well done. I didnt think it was sleazy at all.

This morning I went to church and it was exactly what I needed. I feel energized and I dont feel as despondent as I was feeling all week last week.

Then i went to see my baby. It was very nice just being with him, loving him, touching him.
Now I'm home getting ready for the week ahead.
*sigh*

*sigh*
nothing good on TV
I need my licence........... and a car lol

Real World is real shit. Imagine this boy only asking his gyul if she faithful to him..come on!!
I have my man what I going to Real World for??
steups

The 17-year-old schoolboy involved in a forbidden love affair with one of his teachers has begun receiving counselling, it was disclosed yesterday.

The boy was said to be in a state of depression and his parents were concerned about his welfare since he was ordered to end the affair.

He is being counselled through the Ministry of Education, it was learned.

The 28-year-old teacher, who has been suspended because of her involvement with the boy,was said to be distraught and had not left her home since she was handed her suspension letter from the Palo Seco Government Secondary School on Wednesday.

Yesterday, after a staff meeting school officials referred questions to the Ministry.

A senior officer at the Santa Flora police station said the boy was 17 years old and "no one is criminally liable in this situation. It is all in the hands of the Education Ministry. They have taken over".

Communications Officer at the Ministry Hilton Braveboy, confirming that the teacher had been suspended, said an investigation was on-going.

The investigation centres around the statement given to police by the fifth form pupil, who was brought in by his angry mother.

She returned from the United States late last month and learned of the affair.

The teenager said he and his teacher became close two months ago, and began spending time together outside of school.

He said his teacher took him to the Hi-RPM pub and Pier 1 Club, and then back to her home to spend nights.

The boy and his teacher, both from Siparia, also spent several nights at his home while his parents were out of the country.

His father works in Saudi Arabia.

According to a police source: "The boy said he and the teacher were in love and if he could not be with her he wanted to kill himself. He is being counselled in San Fernando by the (Education) Ministry".

Former School Supervisor Clifton De Coteau said that if the ministry has immediately suspended the teacher then, "this is very serious and they have evidence".

He said that if the teacher did breach the Ministry's code of conduct, "I cannot imagine what got into her".

De Coteau said the teacher would be "served with a letter asking why disciplinary action should not be taken against her", following which a lengthy investigation would be conducted.

The affair was not the first such report to be investigated by Ministry officials in recent years, it was pointed out.

One relationship between a secondary school principal and her sixth form pupil ended in marriage as did the affair between a Princes Town Junior Secondary school teacher and his uniformed bride, a senior Ministry official said.

He also spoke of the intimate relationships between two female teachers and their pupils from a prestigious college in San Fernando.


This was an article in the Express today. LAWD!

what has happened to me? why am I like this?
I'm just so...arrrgghh!!
I'm going to dig deep down within me and find the strength that I used to get thru all the stuff in my life.
I'm not soft, I'm not a cry cry baby.
I've been around too long for stuff like this to get me down.

I love you baby.

On a whim I decided to ask my very good friend out to an ice cream lime today. He was going through a lot and I thought it would have nice just to chat.
So I found out the WHOLE story with him and his wife. He told me that due to the LDR, he just isnt connected with her anymore. I saw it for myself in 2002 when she came down for Christmas. I saw that he wasnt affectionate with her, but he just brushed it off.

*sigh*
He is a really good guy. I dont know why he has to go through stuff like that. His eyes just look so sad...
He was so kind as to drop me by my boyfriend to see him for a little while. That was...wow!
what disarmed me was the smile on his face when he saw me. I just melted.

I cant imagine looking into his eyes and not feeling anything. I just cant...

wow..another situation, baby..but AGAIN you just prove to me how great and wonderful you are. You are my rock; whenever I am in a jam, you are right there to help me and support me. I just love to hear you say "I'm here". Whenever you say that, it comforts me and reassures me.
You calm me down when I am worried or afraid. You make me laugh and you make tears come to my eyes when I look at you lie on my chest. You look so peaceful and calm.
You have just changed my life in a most positive way and I am thankful for you. I really am.
I'm glad I didnt go to Barbados because I would have missed out on meeting you. The strange thing is when I found out I wasnt going, I wasnt to upset because I said to myself , "It's for a reason."

I love you baby..I really do...

I am watching Friends right now and Joey was upset with his date because she ordered a garden salad and took a few fries off his plate.

steups
I always doing dat to my bf. He would ask me "you want anything?' and I would say "nah I'm alright". Then as soon as he starts to eat, i want some. But as i always say food always tastes better whenever I eat it from him...seriously it does...

I'm worried that I am too clingy. I'm alway hugging up my bf, always kissing him up. I mean!!! He's not a baby or anything...
In my head, it's ok. This is the first time I'm experiencing true love for the first time. It's a giddy feeling. But if I were to look at myself, I think I would say, "aawww how sweet!", then after a while roll my eyes.

I have decided to temper my signs of affection. Cool down just a tad....yeah...sounds good....

thank goodness my bf is feeling better today. I was worried.

There is a boy in my form four class whose mom died last year. He is doing just fine, talking to the boys as normally and doing his work.

Then there was another boy in my form five whose mom died last year as well. But he went a different route and does no work. He's rude and disrespectful. I would like to think that he would work hard to make his mom proud of him. God forbid he ends up a statistic.

Today I feel much better than yesterday. I dont feel heavy anymore. I feel like I am ready for school tomorrow.
I bought some shoes today..well I bought one pair and I got the other at half price. YEAH!

when is Friday going to come?? when???
:(

I'm glad my baby is feeling better. Being constipated is not a nice thing.

Thanks for listening to me baby. It helped a lot.
You so schweet!!

hee hee

My boyfriend is just so logical. Read any of his posts on TS and you would see what I mean. It's one of the characteristics that I admire so much about him and at times it's one that annoys me sometimes
. If he asks me "how are you?" I cant just tell him ..""hmmm ok" He must hear "I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm stressed." arrgghh :p

But it was his logical feedback that helped me deal with a situation today in school that could have made today an even worse day. And I thank him for that.

I DID NOT CHEAT!!

LOL

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I was watching the news today and then it just came to me: career change. and then counsellor came to mind. When I was really into prayer and going to church, that is how God used to talk to me. He hasnt done it for a while..until now.

I just dont think that I can be a teacher for the rest of my life. But then I would miss the holidays. Plus my bf wants to be a teacher, so I would miss being home with him.
I'll pray about it. This is something major.

Today is my official last day of holiday. I am a tad upset but I guess this day had to come.
*sigh*
life is good!

My brother pierced his ear LOL
He is getting older before my eyes. I remember when they brought him home from the hospital 19 years ago... *sigh*

well I just had a marathon session with my best friend and his best friend..two men in their thirties and to them their lives just suck. The other guy, H, hasnt had sex with his wife since his daughter was born 15 mnths ago.
My best friend married his LDR gf of 7 years "to make her and everyone happy". But the thing is she is in Canada, he is here. So nothing has changed. He met a girl who he had a brief involvement with for a while and for a while he was happy..until the girl's mother found out he was married. She is 19 he's 31.....

*sigh*
and there I was sending him emails with me and my BF grinning and skinning....
I really thought that when he got married that FINALLY he would be happy. They looked really happy on their wedding day. But to him, she was almost a stranger.

bleh..I dont wanna talk about this any more..it's distressing.. and you know, I actually was thinking about being a counsellor of some sorts....hmmmm.

well today was a waste. I didnt do a damn thing. I lazed around all day.
Plus I was worried about my baby. he's a lil under the weather.
I juat want him to feel better.
and thank God I have one more day to laze around.
God is good.

God is a good God...Too many events in my life have shown me that.
I havent been to church in weeks. It's not that I dont like church..it's just that Sunday is such a nice day to relax, regenerate oneself for the work week. I also love getting up late.
But God has blessed me so much..I'm healthy, I have a good job, I have a roof over my head, I have a great man in my life...why cant I get up and go to church to give praise and thanks huh?

it bothers me a lot....

LOL

I'm watching VH1 now and it seems as if I am following a Hollywood phenomenon: Older women, younger guys.

LOL
At least for 5 mnths this year my bf will be with a 25 yr old. hee hee.
And the ironic thing is I was always so vehement about dating a younger guy and look...the love of my life is younger than me.
ah well....


he has acted more of a man that any man years older than him.. I wouldnt trade him for anything.

I was watching a program with Toni Braxton and I just always loved this song..

This is for you baby..feel better soon

"How Many Ways" - Toni Braxton

Must have been heaven sent to me
Cause I never knew love like this
You know you make me feel
So good inside and boy,
It's a feeling I just can't hide
And baby words can't express my gratitude
For each and every little thing you do
I want to understand
You're all the man
That I love and I know
That I need and I want and more
Baby let me count the ways

How many ways, I love you
Let me count the ways
How many ways, I love you
Let me cont the ways

You know you're so very special to me my baby
I'll never let you go
When I'm with you
I feel so free I could count
From 1 up to 99 and still believe
Although sometimes now baby
We disagree
There ain't never or will
ever be another love for me
And I want you to know I appreciate
All the things that you do when you do
What you do for me
Darling let me count the ways

How many ways, I love you
Let me count the ways
How many ways, I love you
Let me cont the ways

1, 2 I love you
3, 4 So much more
5, 6 I can't get enough of this
7 let me show you my love
And take you to heaven
8, 9, 10 let me start love
Over and over. . .again

WOOHOOO!!!
I go back out to work on Tuesday!!!!

OMG OMG

I am getting married on Saturday 9th September, 2006


according to emode.com

hee hee

Could you believe I couldnt sleep well??
What is this?
My bf spends a few days by me and when he leaves i cant sleep??
This is sad.....

2003 was a good year yes. It really was. I learned a lot about myself and the people around me. I learned what I am capable or not capable of.
Now 2004 is a new year. I have left a lot of the baggage behind.. all the hurts and bad attitudes and I'm ready for what this year holds in store for me.

Yuh know, I always used to say I never doing this and that for my man. Let him do it himself. But when my bf came to spend some time by me, I spoiled him ROTTEN. Made breakfast and lunch for him. I'm glad he enjoyed it.
He has done so much for me. I try to explain it in words sometimes, but it's hard. I'm glad when he looks into my eyes, he sees how I truly feel.

It was nice to wake up for a few days with gentle kisses on my cheek and forehead and "good morning beautiful". I mean..isnt he a darling??? (breakfast in bed would have been nice too, but we working on it!)

Most people think he's an asshole and I admit before i met him I did too.
But when I got to know him and been through things with him, he is a truly good man.
I love him.

AYE!!
February the 14th is a big day!! I hope he remembers that!
;)

This new year has started off in a great way. Got up and watch "Two Towers" AGAIN. Had a good breakfast and some New Year sex!

rooowwwrrrr!