Today has got to be one of the LONGEST days of my life. I have been going and going and going.

But it is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!

I dreamt my father this morning.

But this time I was glad to see him. I smiled at him. I asked him how he was going. He told me he was in heaven. He looked well, in his jersey and short pants. This is how he dressed when he was alive.

But something fucked up ended up happening. I cant remember. But this time the dream didnt end violently. I'm glad about that.

Just let me be able to express how I feel.

If I dont, I feel like I am being dishonest.

Today wasnt too bad yuh know. The Spanish Orals didnt go too badly. It started late, but once I got into the flow of things I just kept going, until my belly started growling. I was too ashamed. I had to stop.

So i ate..luckily I brought my own lunch. Imagine they giving people burger and greasy fries. GEED! But I did appreciate the Fruta.

I examined 14 girls today and none of them impressed me. NONE! steups.

We stayed back real late today to organise for the family day tomorrow. We folded 600 boxes this afternoon. Some people who are not even going on the trip helped out. It was a nice lil lime.

Just Like The Birds

That Whistle In The Trees

At Peace So Happily

Well, You're My Tree

And Through My Storms

You Have Stood Strong For Me

Kept Me Warm As Can Be

Like A Candy, To An Apple

Oh, We Go Together

Your So Sweet On Me

I Can Say That I Do Believe

This Is Destiny

It Keeps Calling Me

I just spoke to my friend there. She seems fine, considering she lost her home this week.

To have TWO "one of those days" in one week is a lil too much.

Today was my heaviest day, 7 out of 8 periods. Would you believe I was put to supervise a class in my ONLY free period for the day? WTF?

I was just going and going. But now it is over.

Word to the wise: DONT have a falling out with your significant other at one o' clock in the morning. It messes up your day.

We sorted everything out though. I like that about us. We have our disagreements, give each other time to cool off, then we talk about it and sort things out.

I got to school early this morning just in case the 'bad lady' came back but she wasnt there.

I heard some very bad news about a co worker of mine and all I can do is lift her up in prayer. I'm sure she isnt coming to school this week. It's a lot to deal with.

I found out that the student I have been preparing for exams did well in his orals! YAY!
So we are going to deal with the long paper and multiple choice next.
I ducked the form fives this morning. I just couldnt take seeing them today.

I had SO much fun with my form ones. The great thing with buying all these books is that they always have some kinda creative idea to assist in the reinforcing of the grammar taught. So I played a sort of Clash game where two students came up to the blackboard and are given verbs to conjugate. The person who finishes first without any errors wins a prize.
They made so much noise, but the shocker was that they were BETTING on their classmates. A boy told me he made $8!!!
That class made my day yes.

The meeting went on till 7pm this evening, but I feel a lil more settled in terms of the family day on Saturday. Lots of stuff to be done tomorrow.

Remember the incident in the Ministry on Monday? It turns out that the lady who said "sorry about that" was someone I was introduced to a while ago. She called me tonight to apologize as well as ask me to exam some girls yes!
I was tempted to say no, but it's the sister school; it's right there so I dont have another school to go to..... so I guess some poor soul will be supervising my classes on Friday.

sorry....

This morning started off in such a hectic manner.

The CXC orals examiner came at the school at 730 am this morning. I wasnt there yesterday (read lower down) so I had NO idea what was going on. I explained to her that I didnt know what was going on..oh gosh...relax nah...she sighed so loudly, making me feel incompetent. I told her I didnt have the list..the look she gave me eh...STEUPS. That wasnt a good way to start my morning when I didnt even know what was taking place.
However it got sorted out.

I went to my afternoon classes Form 2s and 3s...boy they cant concentrate at ALL! But with the lovely detention in place, at least I have an option.

As usual, my form two class was great and I am going to treat them. They work REALLY hard! I hope I get them in Form Three and Form Four and Form Five.

I like staying back late because I get a lot of work done then. My boyfriend is concerned about my safety, and so am I. But when I reach home, I have the TV and internet to distract me.

I was going home and some students were preparing snacks for a parents' meeting and they offered me something to eat. I felt real touched. Plus they didnt know how they saved my life yes.

So now I am home washing some clothes. YAY for me.....

So I am up because I had a bad dream.

I hope I dont get trouble to get to sleep.

Today was just one of those days yes. One of those days.

I had the tremendous idea that I was an examiner for CXC orals so I went to the Min. of Ed bright and early. When I got there, I saw a familiar face, chatted with her for a while, then gave in my name to the clerk. Now at 8am the office was like a ghost town eh. I continued to wait, only to be told that some of the materials for the packages arrived on Saturday so the packages are now being assmebled.

*sigh*

I saw that people who came after me were getting their packages and leaving before me. I pegged it to the fact that I was examining private candidates so maybe mine was 'special'. I saw a lot of people from UWI and we waited together. Sone people got their package and left only to realise that some information was missing. So that created a back log.

Around 11am, (please note I was there since 8am) I got someone's attention and it looks as if I was getting some info. A guy goes through the list of private examiners and informs me that my name is NOT on the list. I'm like OK....a lil stunned eh. But I decided to chech with the Registrar just to make sure that it's true. She says that if that guy checked it, then it must be true. Then she says, "Sorry bout that.'

:s

You mean to tell me that I waited THREE HOURS to hear that my name is NOT on the list? Well I think I saw red yes. I was real mad! I mean If I went there and found out at 8 that my name wasnt on the list, I would have just shrugged my shoulders and said, "Ministry again."
But FUCK! 3 hours?

I came home, ate, then went out the road and paid my bills and made a deposit. At least the day wasnt a complete waste.

I enjoyed this afternoon. Just a nice simple lime. Just the two of us.

Now to get ready for two stressful days.

So the macaroni pie and the chicken are in the oven baking. Hopefully they should be out in a lil while ready to be consumed.

So after making many phone calls, I found what I was looking for and it costs just $220!!! YAY!
I like having lil projects to do for myself.

My last project was my driver's licence and I got that out of the way. Now this is another project.
I want my life to be filled with lots of lil projects and lots of exciting things to look forward to.

So this morning we went to the mall and made a KILLING!

Things were slow in the beginning but it started to pick up from there. We made over $2200. YAY!

I met a guy there who told me that the Venezuelan embassy has Advanced Spanish classes. I want to do that to get back into the flow of Spanish. I was looking for a filler course this year and I think I found it!

See how thing work out!

I am tired but I have to go to the mall this morning.

I hate this yuh know. After next week, I will be so glad eh!
No more Family day!

So I just came home from liming.

I must say I quite enjoyed it. I laughed so much eh.

So this weekend is not mine, neither is the next.

If anyone who reads this and is in Trinidad and wants to buy a Bar be que ticket for next Saturday, please let me know. We're raising funds to go to Costa Rica.

$25 a ticket.

The highlight of my day was correcting a batch of 35 papers in an hour and 45 mins. That was great! I am realising that I get a lot of work done when I stay back after school. Not many distractions like home where there is the TV and my bed!

The shootout on the Promenade scared me today. I mean these people just dont care. A police unit is just a few feet and they dont care at all. WOW.....

OK..time for bed!

I have a confession: I watch Disney Channel....a lot.

I watch a lot of That's so Raven, The Proud Family and Recess.

Right now I am having 2 chicken burgers and an ice cold shandy. Yum!








OK..they were just consumed..

*BURP* *BURP* *BURP*

I had an ok day today. Nothing to rant about.
I am really disillusioned with Form 3s but I am not going to give up on these fellas nah. There must be something within them I can reach.

I went to my first basketball game and we lost 51-29. The first three quarters were very close and then in the fourth quarter things just started to get fast paced and they boys just couldnt keep up.


I just saw a clip of it on the news. I saw me!!!! hee hee!!!!

* HI-HO; HI-HO; IT'S OFF TO MARKING PAPERS I GO!

I realised coming home in the maxi tonite that I am becoming Ayanna.
I am finally figuring out what makes me tick and I like the discoveries.

I had a falling out with a friend/ co worker yesterday. Another friend pointed that it's not that the person did anything out of character, it's just that I am not as tolerant as I used to be.

She's right.

Things that would not have gotten a peep out of me now get a roar.
And things that would have gotten some sort of recognition doesnt get the time of day.

Life is too short to take on the shit that abounds.
If you dont like Ayanna, you can shove it.

Besides having a really good visit with my boyfriend this weekend, nothing of interest has happened to me.

My niece is here now, a lil hyper, but sweet all the same.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7511425/?GT1=6428

hee hee.

I didnt like Landon when he was on Real World, but on the Inferno II, he just looks HOTT!
:p

This morning was very interesting online, I must say.

Nice is a relative term.

I realise that I dont have a lot of friends. I have lots of people that I can lime with, but TRUE friends are very scarce.

Well, that makes the guest list for my wedding even shorter.

I so enjoyed seeing my boyfriend at 6:25 am this morning, although it was really hard to get up at 5 am yes. I liked being in POS so early as well. Yes there were people but something about the atmosphere was so different and 'quiet'. But I eh want to work in town at all.

I got my ride to Chaguanas thanks to my boyfriend's mom. I arrived at the LRC in Couva quite early. I saw some friends that I have not seen in a long time, so it was great catching up . The workshop was supposed to start at 830. It started an hour late.

STEUPS

I am supposed to mark oral exams in two weeks and this was the training for it. The facilitators spent a lot of time on how to prepare for the exam and not on how to mark which is the most essential part.
We left there at 330pm. Thank goodness I got a drop.
STEUPS

So the drama will be to get in contact with the Ministry of Education.

But the weekend is here. YAY!!!!!!!!!

Just shut up and let me talk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And maybe you would not have been so confused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHIT!

Going on and on like a mad person

and I didnt even finish my point.

STEUPS!

Why cant all days be like today???

I went to POS to get some stuff for school and I passed by the remains of the Drag.
WOW...all I saw was sky when I looked up the road.

I went to the Police Admin building to get some donation sheets and no one could find them. STEUPS.

But I strolled in town and got some new underwear and some food and went up to school...just in time to give out the school lunches :s

I had a nice class with form twos today. I must say working with the book was a great idea. We should have thought of that.
Then of course fun with my form class. I think I have so much fun teaching that i forget I have a scheme of work to fulfil. I wish it wasnt like that. I wish I could take my time and do some fun things......*sigh*

Some of us girls went to see "Diary of a Mad Black woman." I must say it was entertaining. Not my kinda movie but it was earlier and it was a unanimous decision.

You dont what you have got till it's gone yes.

:(

Baby, I miss you.

The pace has begun to pick up.

I have mock exam marks due very very soon and I am not finished.
Had a marathon meeting today.

Now it's time for rest.

It's amazing how MSN has shaped ppl's lives yes. My thing these days is that if you not on my msn list, too bad. It's just so convenient...as well as cheap.

MSN has this new feature where you can sign in without people seeing you sign in, just like Yahoo has the Invisible status. Hiding from people ONLINE..............LOL

You have to love this technology thing.

Today was the first day of school.

I had a free this morning so I just spent it preparing for the day.

I went to my form fives after...STEUPS...........like they doh have a clue CXC is near. I mean, I really did try with them. I got a lot more done than I did in previous years. But I am lost. In a workshop yesterday, one group was told when students arent doing well, we the teachers have to look inward and ask ourselves what we are doing wrong.

I'm thinking that if I were that bad, none of my students wouldnt pass at all...so that the onus cant solely be on me. These boys dont think at all. That is why we had a workshop yesterday called Teaching Thinking Skills.

But I was reflecting aloud with my co workers today and saying that when I was in secondary school, I wasnt taught to think, or at least, I dont remember. I didnt have videos to watch or power point presentations to look at, and I still learned. Sometimes I dont feel like I am teaching. I feel like I have to entertain these children for 80 mins.

*sigh*

But the highlight today was comparing driver's permit pictures. One picture I saw of my friend Cassie..............I REAL laugh!!!!!!!! Her picture looked like she cuss way the whole of licensing that day. I told her whenever I am having a bad day I will look at her picture. It really is funny!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow is another day.

School did not start for us today. We had a prefessional development session today that was not bad. I started off the day by showing my friends my licence. They really were supporting me (although they made a lot of jokes about me eh) so I wanted to show them that I actually got it.

Then we went into the hall for an exercise where we had to create a teaching manifesto. My table tied for first place. heh.

Then we went into our workshop on teaching thinking skills which was quite interesting, but as soon as we grasped the concept, time ran out.

I went in the mall and did some shopping. Then I came home.

I just finished looking at some mock exam papers. It's like I didnt teach for two years.
*sigh*

Today is officially the last day of my vacation.

Damn :(

But we might as well get our term started so that it can end quickly enough.

I took in another great movie today..Kill Bill 2. I cant even compare it to the first one because it was so completely different.

One line stood out in my head that I would like to share.
Beatrix went to Pai Mei for training. She was trying to punch a hole through a wooden board, but this process was a painful one and she wasnt giving it her all. Pai Mei said,

'The wood should be afraid of your hand-not the other way around."

I tell you, a powerful line.

You might not get the full impact of that line from reading it here. Watch the movie. It really is worth the time.

If you are ever looking for a GOOD movie to watch, you must take in the movie, "Osama". No, it's not about Osama Bin Laden himself, but about a girl trying to survive during the Taliban regime. If you want a better idea of what the film entails, click the link.

http://www.popmatters.com/film/reviews/o/osama.shtml

The fire in POS was incredible, but heartbreaking. I am just thinking about the people who have no job to go to on Monday morning.

I was looking at the footage on TV and I saw the firefighters using hoses with leaks in them and the pressure of the water looked suitable for watering a lawn. WTF????

People keep singing the song that Trinidad is in no way ready for a disaster.Well then, FIX IT!! Fix those hydrants!!! Give the firemen new hoses. Spend my tax dollars on something that truly matters nah.

*sigh*

On a brighter note, I had a great weekend. A great sendoff before the new school term starts. heh heh heh.
I will admit I am in no way ready, BUT I am looking forward to it since the form fives will be gone!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am expecting some new books in the mail pretty soon. I am so excited.
I'm grateful that I have some good friends who are generous and send these books and items as presents for me. I appreciate it a lot.

Just some random thoughts floating through my head:

1. I am not Catholic, so maybe this is why it doesnt bother me so much, but I was watching footage of the Pope's funeral today and people were bawling and crying their eyes out. I remember I did shed a few tears for Diana, but she left behind two children, plus her death was sudden and could have been avoided.
The Pope, well....he was old.

I mean if Bishop Bess died or Archbishop Gomez died, I would be sad, but I doubt I would bawl down the place. *sigh*

2. Staying on a religious note, I was watching TBN about an hour ago and someone was singing a hynm that I liked. Well. Kayode started to make fun of the people in the audience..... and I was laughing.
I know I shouldnt laugh but he was so funny. I said to myself that they are writing all this down in the Great Big Book. I will hear about this later :s

3. This is the last day of the vacation and I eh get no rest yet. Every day I was either in town doing a driving lesson or in school doing some kinda run around. STEUPS
I taking a day very very soon. And that day I eh leaving the house AT ALL!!!!!

4. To some people, getting your licence is no big deal, but to me it is, considering how nervous I was. I failed the yard test back in 2002 and didnt even do the L turn right. Yesterday,however, I real get on bad in the yard!!! When I failed, I remembered I cried. I paid to do over the test, but I was so embarrassed by my failure, I just didnt want to drive again.

Although I wont have anything to drive for a while, just having it gives me a sense of independance. I love my sister dearly, but she has to get picked up and dropped by her husband all the time. If he is tired, too bad for her.

My boyfriend made a statement that if he has to drive me all over, I have to cook every day. Now for someone who doesnt like to produce a meal, like a friend of mine says, that is like cursing me.

5. This kidnapping thing really getting outta hand yes.

I passed my driver's test.



I am very happy about that. When I called my mother she was very happy for me. But she did burst my bubble when she said that if I drive the car, the insurance will go up.

:(

I went to town today and I bought some cloth to make some new clothes. I always take my sister with me when I do that. She has a good eye for cloth.

I still havent figured out how I am going to treat myself though.

I had a lot of shit to do today. I dont feel like I am on vacation at all.
My throat feels kinda funny, like I am getting a cold.
:s

Initiative is a thing that is sorely lacking in this project. FUCK!

I am going to treat myself to some cloth and shoes tomorrow. YAY!!

Lots of thoughts have been running through my mind about my test. I keep thinking that I might fail AGAIN, but I havent done it yet, so why am I condemning myself.
I keep thinking I am going to fuck up on the day, but then I think, suppose I dont? I am prepared. My instructor seems to have a lot of faith in me, so what's my deal???

*sigh*
As Daniel Beddingfield says, "I'm gonna get through this."

I need to remember that I am on vacation and that I should not be going to work.
I am fucking fed up. I want to rest.

Love is a great thing yes. I am so lucky to have the man that I do in my life. He is very understanding and loving and I cherish him a lot.

:D

I am back to normal and I feel great.

One more week of vacation though...that sucks....

Birth control isnt that expensive. I pay about $45 for a box.

I went to the grocery and I say a lady and her man with two children: a boy who looked like 2, a baby who looked a few mnths old...and the lady is pregnant. JEEZAN!

I'm in a shitty mood tonight and I really cant pinpoint its source. With some sleep, it should go away though.

Last night I watched Kill Bill Volume 1. Who told me to do that before I went to bed? Everything I dreamt was either fighting or in amine style. STEUPS

I must say, however, that I enjoyed the movie. But it was a tad too violent for me.

Today was a pretty decent day.
I went to the bank and found out that my computer loan has been paid off! YAY! So Mr Dell is all mine now. :D
However, my UWI doesnt not finish till JUNE 2006. :(

I went to school and did some work on the Costa Rica trip. I was in school during the frigging vacation. STEUPS

The time has come for me to make some decisions in terms of my education. I graduated since 2000 and I have not gone on to Post Graduate work at all. So the hunt has begun. I am leaning towards the TESOL (Teaching English to Students of Other Languages) course.

For some reason, I just have this feeling that I will become someone great in the field of education. I dont know why, but I just do. But if I dont, it wont be from lack of trying.
I am buying so many books on Spanish that by the time I am finished, I'll have a mini library. But that's ok. Both my niece and my child will be whizzes in Spanish. hee hee

Yesterday was such a lazy day.

I went to pay my bills, then I went to Licensing Office with the aim of looking at people do their driving test. Well, I saw two girls fail. I was trying to send them messages telling them when to turn and when to stop, but they didnt hear me. :(

Then I went by my boyfriend and I must say, the pressure was relieved. heh heh heh.
After that I slept for a few hours well. Then I bought a subway, and went home.

This morning I had a very disturbing dream. The dream took place in the old house that we used to live in. For some reason there was a girl from Bishop's that I used to talk to, but she wasnt really my friend.

My father got up and was telling everyone good morning and he came by me and touched me in my face. I shouted at him telling him not to do that. Next thing yuh know he came back with a piece of wood for me.

Well I went to get mine one time, but Mommy parted us and said that I should not have boffed him up like that. So I went out to the gallery to cool off. Suddenly I see him coming after me with the piece of wood.

Luckily I had mine and I pushed him (he was weak because he was sick of course). That push I gave him was so hard that he fell back and he looked very sick. I turned my back on him and I heard him say that if he dies, it wasnt because of that fight.

Of course all this time I was thinking, Yuh bugger? Yuh really wanted to come up against me? I was a bit smug....then I got up.

I hope this doesnt mean that the dreams are starting back.
:s