I went to the doctor today. I found out what was wrong. And I got meds to deal with it. I feel a lot better and stronger. And I am glad I can eat solid food now. Yesterday I ate crix and soup. BLEH!

Gosh..the amt of sick children in the doctor's office this morning. I just hope I dont get the cold on top of everything now...

I would like to take this opportunity to thank my baby for taking care of me during this trying time. I can be very miserable sometimes,ESPECIALLY when I am sick, but he tried his best to make sure I am feeling better.I dont ever want to be this sick again, but at least I am assured of his support. And if the shoe were on the other foot, I would be there for him too.

:D

The highlight of the reception was my boyfriend catching the garter belt. I didnt go to catch the bouquet, and he said he wasnt going to catch the garter belt because I didnt catch the bouquet. Then suddenly I saw him get up and go up with the other guys.And then when the groom threw it, I just saw him reach out and nab it out of the air. The other guys didnt have time to react!!!

Here is evidence of his efforts

Today my bf and I went to a wedding. The ceremony was ok, just the homily that was given was very..uh...bad.
We went to the reception and the good thing was that we ate before all the speeches.
The couple that got married look so in love.
I wish them all the best.

I have not very well for the past couple of days.It was so bad that I had to take half day off from work on Friday.
I am still feeling the after effects but I am a lot better now.
:)

Today I did not go to work and I was glad. I went to my regs exam and passed. Who wouldnt? It was easy..now onto the driving....

:s


then I went by my bf and he spoiled me for the whole time I was there. He went to get lunch..Chinese..and when he came back, he took out my food for me. I really enjoyed that. He took out MY food first and poured out MY drink first. Then for dessert we had donuts and my favourite..cheesecake icecream.
well yuh know after that was sleep time. That was nice too. I got all hugs too.
hee hee.

heh...

My bf's mom just sent me an email inviting to go down Mayaro with her and she ended the email with 'Mums' yes

LOL

she real nice though.

so right now I am watching a show called the ultimate love test.yes u guessed it..a reality show. what can i say? I am an addict!

Anyway, it's where couples separate and are put in positions that test their loyalty to their partners. One word: Bacchanal

Oh yeah..and if your relationship lasts in the midst of all that, you win $100,000 dollars.

"I'm right here for you, baby."

*sigh*

PMS is one helluva thing eh. I feel crampy and bloated and yuck. I know I whine when I talk to him on the phone but he listens. He just listens to me. When I am in that kinda mood, I know that he doesnt fully understand it, but he just tries to make me feel better. He really means it when he says that he is there for me. And I love that.

Thank you baby!

*MUAH*

"Ribbon in The Sky"-Stevie Wonder

Oh so long for this night I prayed
That a star would guide you my way
To share with me this special day
Where a ribbons in the sky for our love

If allowed may I touch your hand
And if pleased may I once again
So that you too will understand
Theres a ribbon in the sky for our love

Do...do...
Do do do do do...
Hmm hmm...

This is not a coincidence
And far more than a lucky chance
But what is that was always meant
Is our ribbon in the sky for our love, love

We cant lose with God on our side
Well find strength in each tear we cry
From now on it will be you and i
And our ribbon in the sky
Ribbon in the sky
A ribbon in the sky for our love

Do...do...
Do do do do do...
Hmm hmm...

Theres a ribbon in the sky for our love

This song MUST be played at my wedding and I WILL be dancing with my husband to it.

Yesterday I found a dress that I liked. SO I am heading in the mall tomorrow to get it. While I am not familiar with the people who are getting married, I am glad to be able to spend some time with my friend. I know I saw her in 2002 but it's always good to have a person to person convo. Typing long stories is hard sometimes.

I went to the funeral today. That church was packed. I was thinking, when I die, would the church be packed like that for me? Will ppl come because they genuinely miss me or are they just coming to verify that I am dead?

I would like to think that I have made an impact on some people. I always say you cant win them all and there will always be someone who doesnt like you.

*sigh*

The boy looked very angry. I didnt know what to say, so I didnt go over. But the boys who accompanied me went over to say something. Good going..I didnt even have to tell them anything.

I realise that boys are growing up these days without much respect for women. A coworker of mine was having a chat with a class and the boys told her that a teacher 'allowed' them to touch her. What do they mean by that? they said that she knew they were touching her bottom but she did nothing. In fact, she told them that she doesnt know what to do when they touch her bottom.

EH????

Dont know what to do???

Slap first, ask later!!!!

First thing this morning I found out that a boy in my class lost his mother last week. I was very disturbed. I wasnt very close to the boy. He barely spoke to me. But I was just very down.
I am 25. I miss my mommy, but I can talk to her online, she calls and I can make the sacrifice and go up to see her. His mom is gone and he is just 15.
His exams start tomorrow.

*sigh*

This morning I went to St Matthais in Laventille for church. Well church started at 715 and ended at 830. I was real glad! There are a lot of old ppl in that church but they were very friendly. But next week I am going to try St Columba in Barataria.

I am looking for a church to call my own.
I am officially affiliated with St Michael's in Diego. But the expense and the hassle of going to Diego...
I would go to Holy Saviour, but the service so long!!
So....

Who knows??

I went into Peter elias' store to look for a dress.
So I found a really beautiful dress but it needed a lil adjusting. SO an older lady came and helped. She pinned up the dress, then she gave me a caress from the boobs to the hips. I was like...ok...maybe that was to smooth out the dress.

Then after a while, she did it again!! Good thing she wasnt there when I was trying on the other dress.

Today I went dress shopping..JEEZAN! Things real expensive. I saw some hot numbers I liked. Hope when I go back they r there.

I am tired and just want to lie down and watch some TV.

I miss my mommy. Last night we had a real good convo yes. I'm really glad that she is enjoying her life. She deserves it. She really sacrificed a lot for us. She put her own life on hold for her children. Now she's studying and doing all the things she wanted to do.

I missing the food. Missing getting up and seeing bake frying. When I was going to school, mommy used to make my breakfast, and she used to cool out the tea for me yes, using two cups. lol
I remember going to school EVERY DAY with my container of food yes!
I was tick when I was going Bishop's yuh know!!! lol

Today was the form five graduation. I was there so that I can verify that they were leaving. WOW..25 years old and I have two batches of past students.
hee hee

Then my friend said that she was going into town so I took a ride with her. I visited my bf and we had a nice time. WOW..rain really makes a sleep a lot better.

Then I went to see Shrek with my brother. Even though he is 19, I still can remember when he came home from the hospital. And the cutass I get for him...steups. My father gone out the road and leave me to watch my brother..I 8, he 3..now inspector gadget was going on and I was watching it...not taking on my brother. somehow he slipped out and went crawling out the road....a lady brought him back and I get licks
LESSON LEARNT: dont leave a child to watch another child while saturday morning cartoons are going on.

Kayode says:
the new msn plus real bad
I can make it play a particular song when particular people sign in
so I put a special song for you

Ayanna Banana says:
what's my song baby?

Kayode says:
kinda magical piano tune that every gamer knows...and probably means a lot to anyone who's played a Final Fantasy game
It symbolises a world of new great possibilities

Ayanna Banana says:
why did u pick that for me?

Kayode says:
Because you symbolise a world of new possibilities for me

God knows why he didnt bless me with my licence as yet..I woulda be making booty calls to my man and have him working HARD!!!

Well...my "cousin" - he is my aunt in law's nephew - was suspended for fondling his penis in class. He was dared by a classmate to do it. STUPID!!!!

If that were me, I would go mad yuh know!!!!

Tonight I went to see Shrek 2. It was really really good.
Antonio Banderas was wonderful as Puss in Boots. I was really pleased.

Yesterday was nine mnths yes.
Where does all the time fly?

These past couple of weeks have been heavenly and I hope they continue along that path.

It's nice to know that I can talk about my future with my bf. He doesnt shy away, but we both admit that at times it might be a lil overwhelming.
while I watch a lot of those marriage shows on TLC, I'm in no rush yuh know. We love spending time with each other, but it's always nice to know that we have our own space.

Today is 9 mnths. It just feels longer yes.
what could I write that I havent written before? Things cool!



yuh know...I find myself watching these Lifetime channels very often now.
:s

Thanks baby for the lovely jewellery. And thanks for the great day today.

To anonymous:

Thanks! Blogging is my way of 'venting' sometimes or just recording events and feelings. It's a lot easier than writing in a diary, although here ANYBODY is privy to seeing it.

You could start a blog if u want, but it depends on what u want to do with it. For me it's a diary of sorts.
What do you want to do?

It's not really addictive. I'm online so much, I just blog when i am.

:D

Today has been a great day thus far. I watched some tv did some cleaning up, cooked some food. I feel really good!!!

This morning on Doubles with Gerry and Susan, there was an interesting discussion on abortion. WOW!

So many different arguments and so forth was mind blowing yes.
Imagine the CSO does not have any statistics on abortions because it is a criminal act!!!

ASPIRE (I dont know what it stands for) had to go and do their own census.This was only in 4 hospitals and they discovered that about 4000 women have abortions every year. So that means that the actual number is higher than that.

For me personally, I think there should be things in place in this country for women to have choices.By things I mean legislation, proper counselling, places for women to go who cant really afford at the time. The Catholics were placing a lot of emphasis on the fundamental right of the child to life, but it is ULTIMATELY the responsibility of the woman to take care of the child.

Something my friend told me the other night affected me so much that I dreamt about it.
She told me that she came to the conclusion that I 'hide' things or in other words I didnt share things about myself.

I was taken aback by that and very bothered because I used to share. When certain things happened to me, I used to tell.So to come to a conclusion that I didnt share was a lil hurtful. And to want to lock me off for a while when I didnt do anything is even more hurtful.

I cyah wait for the reason this time.
STEUPS!!!

This morning I was talking to my bf this morning. I saw the time ticking away, and I knew i would have been late for work...but I didnt care. I just wanted to talk.

I love it whenever he's finished anything, he calls me and tell me. He sounds so confident and proud.

I dont care what anybody says..I love Gayelle The Channel.
I love all the community based projects that are aired. A lot of positive things are going on in our country and Gayelle is highlighting them.
I watching Tony Hall here on TV and all I seeing is a man full of information on our culture.
What do I see on synergy? not my culture! Most times when I flicking thru the channels, I see videos from Jamaica. Or the videos from Trinidad are from Carnival..the wining ones. That is not my culture as far as I see.
Gayelle did very well in the MFO survey. The lady distinctly said if you want to advertise, advertise on Gayelle, which is important as well eh.
What did synergy get? 1% vs Gayelle's 5%. Synergy will contribute to the downfall of our youths,just like 96.1.

can the term come to an end already????

yuh know...there was a time that I used to lime with guys a lot, and it was because they were simple enough creatures. Not many things got them vex and they didnt analyse everything you said.
And that was good, but I was missing the female companionship so I started to renew those friendships again.

I'm not saying that I'll make such a break again because I KNOW for sure I need them now...but oh gosh....I cyah take the ...the...stuff....the moodiness, the I'm-not-talking-to-you-today-because-I-dont-feel-like-it mood. And is the talking to everybody else BUT you. SHIT!!!!!

Last year, I was going thru a rough time eh...and only my bf could have dealt with me at the time. It was something we had to deal with together. His patience helped a lot. To put my friends thru THAT, would have been mad.

I dont understand women sometimes. Why they cant be more like me? I'm more or less the same way all the time. When allyuh ready to behave like adults, call me yes!

Staying back late today I realised that you must not judge a book by its cover. I used to think that one of my staff members was quite strange..but talking to her this afternoon makes me realise that she isnt that bad...

I'm looking forward to is my day off on Friday. Unforunately I didnt have a day of rest and reflection yesterday, so I'll be resting on Friday....
I'm tired. I have reached my point of saturation. Thank God exams are next week and I dont have to teach.
But hear nah normally is 8 weeks...but this year IS NINE!!!!!

heh heh heh......


Tobago here I come!!!

well..
I'm watching "The Opposite Sex" and it's about Jimmy who wants to be Jamie.. and they showed you the pics of how they were going to change his penis to a vagina. Well I felt a lil pain down there when I saw that.
I feel sympathy for these ppl but the statistics are high. Around thousands of ppl do this type of surgery every year!!!
Jimmy said that the reason he felt he was a woman is that he had a chemical imbalance when he was a foetus.

Go figure...

ok..I planned this girls lime and we were supposed to get together to talk about life and stuff, but we ended up talking about ourselves and our relationships.

Some ppl had issues boy..waaaayyy!!!

One girl said that she did not feel the connection with us anymore because none of us have children and a husband and she cant discuss certain things with us. While I dont see her reasoning, I respect her feelings
.
Today I was in the staffroom doing some stuff. Now I was sitting to the right of her, someone who has been liming with her for three years, and she turns to the person to the left of her to tell them that her child is creeping. I felt slighted. Did she turn to that person because she has a child and I dont? I feel as if I have to fight down a conversation with her.

I know, my mind is going.....

*sigh*

Last night, we went to see day after tomorrow and Troy. Well let's just say, Day after was pretty decent. I cant say much about Troy since I fell asleep.:(

Brad Pitt was looking so fine!!!

It's amazing, however, that I could not stay up for the movie, but when I went home I was up for other things...hmmmmm..go figure....

so my girls' lime on friday went in another direction. my friends are hurt...really hurt. And I escaped unscathed.

This sucks

ok..I held off any opinion because I did not see the movie..but gigli is real shit boy. The script is real mess....it's just a big pile of mess....

Today was a tiring day emotionally. At seven this morning, I was awaken by my mother who started to boff me up. WOW..that was pressure there. I took some time to compose myself and then I went by my bf, but he had his own thing to deal with.

*sigh*

I was so tired...all I did was sleep yes.
Luckily, his mom was going in my direction so I got a lift with her. It was a cool ride.

:D

Philo had denise belfon on her show and she looked good. She lost some weight and was just glowing. She has such good skin. While I did not agree with some of the things she said, I like her. She looks like such a lovely person.

Last night while I was out liming, my mother calls asking me where I am and what time I intend to come home because she wanted to talk to me about something. I was so embarassed to be asked those questions eh..

So she calls me this morning because she is upset that I dont talk to my brother.
While I dont have conversations about life and stuff like that with him, I still check up on him..somewhat.
I'll try to talk to him more....i guess...

Last night we had a girls' lime and it was a marathon session.
All the issues and problems we had with each other came out. Some tears were shed even.
We are a dynamic group of women of different ages and backgrounds. Our lives have gone in such different directions over the past three years, that some connections have been lost while new ones are forming.
But we all came to the conclusion that no matter what, we have this core group of friends to depend on...which is cool.

We are planning to have another one sometime, but hopefully not ending at one o'clock in the morning. I cant remember that last time I came home that hour.

It's becoming automatic now. I instinctively wake up at 3am and call him...talk for an hour and go back and sleep, getting up at 6:15am, which is a bit too late for me.
*sigh*

Today is dressup day here at school. The place has such a lazy atmosphere. I didnt teach a thing for the day, but I have one more class at the end of the day.
*double sigh*

Today there was also a scanting competition in school. That was the most kix I had in a loooooong time.

:D

I love it when he is happy like this. He is just so much fun to talk to, playful and sweet.

we had a lil bump in the road tday, but i'm glad we got over it quickly. it wasnt worth it.

Tomorrow is a girls' lime.I enjoy those alot.

Things are changing. Some I dont mind, some disturbs me. Let's hope it all works out tomorrow.

I was really upset today. Just one boy upset me. ONE. I was in a good mood this morning. I spoke to my bf before I went to school, and at school I was "marvelling" (get it? ;) )at a situation that my friend went thru last night.
Then I had this class. I will understand if u dont want to do spanish. You dont like it, ok....but oh gosh, hush yuh mouth!! Do some other work.
they just sit in the back there liming, doing nothing. I think students should be accountable to the government. You waste time, get out!! or pay!!

My fucking hard earned dollars went to flicking you to get book grants to buy books and allyuh doh have it?? it too heavy???

Patrick..gimme back my f***ing money!!!!!
dem buggers and them eh worth it!!!

Today was a day of revelations..or one revelation.

I lime with four other women who have different experiences and backgrounds. And when we come together, there is such a source of information you can draw on that you feel that when a problem arises and you divulge it to them, you would get to see it from all sides.

But i guess one of our friends cant deal with that diversity. I predict that she will pull away a lil bit. I am seeing signs of it already. There might not be a total severing of ties, but I can see a pulling away. I hope not.

One thing we try not to do is surround ourself with negativity. We're young goodlooking women, why be down and depressed, yuh know?

I need these girls. There are some things I would not be able to discuss with my bf. While he will be sympathetic and willing to support,(which I appreciate a lot) a girl would be quicker to pick up certain cues.
(sorry baby :P)

Today was a great day. Some of the boys and I went to a place called La Vega in Gran Couva.

The boys had fun playing football and swimming in a river.
At the end of the day, a few boys put up money and bought a plant for me. I was so stunned I asked them where they picked it. They were offended and showed me the pot that it was in. I felt bad because it was really a sweet gesture.

I didnt bring it home though. I actually want it to live.

I feel glad to know that the boys appreciated what the day was about and that makes the job better.