I got this from another blog. I loved it so much I emailed the author to ask his permission to put it up here.
 
http://boboworld.blogspot.com/
 
 
 
YOU'VE BEEN TSTTed, MOTHERFUCKER!
 

    Man, TSTT, huh? A shining example of what happens when the practices of Monopolistic American Juggernauts are applied to lil old local companies. Borrowing from greats like BCCI and Enron, TSTT is continuing to do its best to ensure that all of its customers feel like the parents of man-hungry teenaged quadruplets when the bill arrives in the mail.

 

They've slashed the fuck out of overseas rates, probably to stick it to the folks who frequent the dollar a minute call centres. Now overseas calls to the U.S, Canada and the United Kingdom are two dollars a minute. People easily distracted by shiny objects and the sound of paper being crumpled may rejoice at this sign that TSTT is taking the painted blue, purple and black sticks out of their asses in an effort to make nice with Trinidad and Tobago, but before these mentioned folks got the chance to raid their drawers for pieces of brass to contribute to the calf TSTT would have been presented with, it was announced that TSTT had to do something to recoup the money they stand to lose in their slashing spree.

Local rates would now have to go up (or to borrow a term from the TSTT dictionary: skyfuckingrocket).

 

    Now isn't that great news? That's like if the President of Trinidad and Tobago personally visited my humble home to tell me that since he likes me so much, me and my Katie can now get in to Movietowne for the ridiculously low price of a dollar a head. However, since Movietowne stood to lose money, I'd have to pay sixty dollars every time I turned on my television. Doesn't that sound like a great deal?

 

   You now get access to something you never bothered using at a ridiculously low rate, but to balance everything out, you pay through the teeth for a relatively simple service. As Tommy Lee once said: it's BANANAS! It's so fucking outtasight, it's bananas.

 

   I can only hope that when these new rates come into effect, my phone bill will arrive in a larger envelope containing the TSTT care package:

1) A tube of KY Jelly

2) A pair of latex gloves with the TSTT logo

3) A TSTT mint

 

    Hell, they've stopped screwing us senseless with their poor service and dandy one stop, automated 800-TSTT number, so why don't they just skip the figurative bullshit and show us for once and for all that they're a company solely interested in fist-fucking their customers? After you fist-fuck yourself, you stuff those sanctorum covered latex gloves down your throat, make the sweet release of death even more inevitable by enjoying a cigarette, then freshen your breath with a TSTT mint. Of course, we could react by telling those smug overpaid rapists to come remove their equipment from your premises, but is that going to happen?

 

 

As soon as TSTT workers unanimously agree to a pay cut....